I want my flying carpet to have a big ass 3 hanging on the side of it.

Lots of fighting going on in Hyderabad. 25 police areas are under a curfew. 2 people are dead. Many have been stabbed, and hundreds are injured. Over 100 people arrested. Hindus vs Muslims. Throwing rocks at cops. Burning cars, motorycles, shops, mosques, and temples all over a religious festival. I'm only 5 miles away in my hotel room. Someone should tell all these people that they are stupid, because as an American we know the Christian god is the only god, and these people are wasting their time, because they are wrong(sarcasm). Is it crazy that I wanna get down with the mob mentality and blow some shit up, throw rocks at cops, raise hell, and get away with it. Yes, it's stupid, and there is no chance in hell that I would participate, but we all want our own revolution. Our parents got Vietnom, and I got myspace and the internet. Lucky me. It's better that I havent participated in a revolution, because I'd probably be dead, and not for doing something stupid but running my mouth and pissing off the wrong person.

I cut all my hair off yesterday. My mustache has the longest hair on my head. The power lies within the stash. Yesterday, I had to go to the police station to finish up my residential permit registration. I met the head officer at the station in Cyberbad, and he asked why I have a mustache now, but not in my passport photo from 2007. I told him that I have become a man, and grown a power stache. I then complimented him, and his colleague on their mustaches, letting them know that their staches mean business, and they agreed. Then the head officer starts talking trash to my sponsor, Oscar, saying that he is weak because he doesnt have a mustache. We laughed, and Oscar did not think it was funny. Little back story, Oscar seemed intimidated by everyone at the police station. I guess no one has ever just shot the shit with this head officer, but he seemed to like me. The data entry guy asked what my religion was, and I had put not applicable, and he looked at me and said what is your religion, and I told him I dont have one. He looked at me like I'm crazy, and said you have no religion? He got real with me, because I had a form that said I'm staying at a unit in the Luxor Inn with a letter head from Google, but I entered my actual room number into the system online. It got sketchy, because at this point I didnt think he would approve my jam. Permit approved.

Tomorrow is April Fools Day, and all of you are in trouble. The aliens are gonna land and eat scrumptious burritos. Mmmhmmm, I wish I had a burrito. Fuck, even a bomb burrito from 7/11 would be too sick right now. But, back to these aliens. They contacted me in my dreams last night, and told me I could let a select few know about their arrival. And since no one actually reads my ranting bullshit, I'll fill the lucky ones in on this. The shirts from Spencers from middle school were right. They want you to take them to your dealer. They are here to inform all of California to register to vote, because the legal weed issue will be voted by the citizens in November on a ballot. Many will support this legislation, but will probably not be registered in time to vote on this issue come November, so the aliens are coming in full force to encourage everyone to get registered. They think like stoners, because they are stoners, because they have to do something to pass the time while traveling in space. Even at light speed, it takes a long fucking time to get around in space. The weird part is that you wont know who the aliens are due to their amazing disguises. I hate smoking weed, but its bout time someone tried to pass something on this. I'm glad my new alien friends are on board. Now we have nothing to be afraid of when they arrive in full force. Just fire one up, and chill with the aliens and everything will be coolehn. They dont want to ruin our existence or piss on our hopes and dreams, they wanna hang out and learn from us, but someone needs to tell this to the government, because is they get off course, or land somewhere on this planet other than California after November in full force, well, consider them fucked. I'd bring a wrath too if I showed up to smoke a blunt, and dudes in suits took me away to dudes in lab coats to cut my ass open and poke me with sharp shit. It's uncalled for. And these guys will bring more than fire and brimstone, i'm talking some parallel dimension shit that'll rearrange the atoms in your body worse than a freight train ramming through a ten foot tall cake. Basically, do the world a fucking favor and get registered in time to vote in November, and vote yes to legalize weed. California needs this to take a step in the right direction to get back to being the world's 5th largest economy. Weed sucks, fuck you.

I hope you feel dumber after reading all of this.

This song fucking rules.