This butt snorkel aint gonna spray itself.

I've been in Hyderabad for a week, and it rules. The best comparison I can think of is, imagine you are at a water park/amusement park and no one follows any of the rules, and it's a wasteland, but it works. How, I dunno, but it works. This is a magical, majestic land where nothing makes sense. My friend Alex is here, and it's great to have someone around that I hang with outside of work at home. Fuck, I just spilt water all over my crotch, and it looks like I pee'd my pants, I didnt, but I'm gonna let it ride.

I finally got the courage to use the butt snorkel. This might be one of the greatest inventions ever, for the setting I'm in. See, the butt snorkel is exactly like a sprayer from your sink used to wash/rinse dishes. Except, this hopefully, has more pressure and a longer hose, but not always, sometimes its a little hectic. I have not caught the dehli belly, but toilet paper is a little to harsh for me right now, since curry or spicy as all hell chinese food are the choices to eat. It's pretty common physics, dont put paper on a fire, because it will flame up. Put water on it to cool it off. My asshole is on fire, so I use the butt snorkel. Thank you India for making sense, and agreeing with physics, at least on one topic.

I got drunk last night, and some how managed to dry heave curry this morning. Yep, that sucked. Musta been butter tikka chicken masala. We went to a 7-star hotel for brunch today. It was a buffett, and they had steak and lobster, which is obnoxious and awesome for where we are located. They have a pool, and there were sexy ladies everywhere, maybe not so sexy, but I havent seen any white women in a week, hahahha. This hotel has two bouncy castles, and a man told me the bouncy castle is too small for me. Quick gripe, other people have stayed at the said 7 star hotel, and I hear that the guest houses/flats were ten steps above where I am staying. Oh well, free place to stay and travel, its not horrible where I am, but it's not great, ha. I'm guess I'm jealous. It's hella loud here. Cars honking all night long, rabid dogs barking. I'm on the top floor, and the power does not go out on my floor, but it does on my coworker's floors.



Independence Day is on tv. They had the inside scoop of what's gonna happen in two years. Hopefully, Randy Quiad comes through and saves the planet. "UP YOURS"

Slayer.