Saturday, April 24, 2010

Every carpet is like Sunday


It's April 25th here in this prison, and they are treating us well. The booter butt has pretty much all but cleaned itself up. The days are getting longer, because in 72 or so hours I will be on two flights that will take me home. The end of this voyage is upon, and it's been awesome and amazing. Today might be the laziest day I've ever had out here. Its been good, but it's also a reminder that I hate Sundays, because they are boring and depression always creeps up when I cant sleep, blah blah blah. Im super stoked that I will be coming home soon. I wish I was already there. I am fortunate to have working arms. Seriously, fuck the guy last night at Beggar's Canyon, which is an intersection where the poorest of the poor come up to your window in traffic begging for money. This guy had t'rex arms. That's the second t'rex arms experience in my life, and why do I have to be so lucky to have that happen twice. I dont understand. Shit haunts me. Yea, dinosaurs are awesome, but people with t'rex arms freak me out. I wish it didnt, but fuck, even if I was to give this man some money it would involve touching him, and fuck that. Those backwards slinky wrists couldnt grip the ghandi's if I had tried to hand it to him, and lets say I had. I would've put the money note on his chest, and he would have been forced to lean that t'rex arm against his chest. Then, I took the wind into consideration. Had there been a breeze, it would have flown away, due to his lack of grip, which would have caused him to take off, and be forced to fall on the money to pick it up, or use his feet to grab, and what if he falls on the money, and misses. Then the money is long gone, and not only have I thought I did a poor fellow a favor, I made his life worse by offering money, and only having it fly away. And seriously, there were so many beggars ready to pounce on this weak man. A five year old could have kicked his ass, so I did the rightful and kept my head straight and did not give him any money. I suck. I cant help these poor people, and I refuse to make someone's life worse, which is what would have happened had I given this t'rex arm guy money. His arm wouldve ended up broken, and that would've come back to haunt me double time. I'm hoping this is the last t'rex arm experience in my life, but I'm afraid it's not. The 3rd time will be a charm, and those arms will end up picking my nose or something, and I'll be forced to head to Saigon to find that whore who bit off Chris Farley's nose, and pay her to bite off my nose. G-SEVEEAAAAWWWWNNNNN.

It's funny to look back in life and figure out how the fuck did I end up in this situation. My current situation stems back all the way to being twelve years old, and 14 years later amongst a bunch of different webs of people and choices and situations in life I ended up in Hyderabad, India. Life's weird, and who knows where it will take me next and what person or web of people will have a positive or negative effect on me and my life. The direction is open to anything, and hell who knows where I could end up. The people I've met so far continue to be amazing. It's been one hell of a ride so far, and I hope the good times never end.

Rob, I'm gonna need you to give me a Ronnie Thunder tattoo when I get home. I really dont care what it looks like, just make it happen, and I'll kick you some ends. Autosave is failing, this means the google plex just collapsed, and skynet is running everything. They couldnt wait 2 fucking years like they were supposed to, welp fuck em. We got John Connor, BITCH!!!!!!! When the gates of hell open up, and Turbo Man himself is no longer Governor, we are fucked. Laters society, hello skulls for roads. The only way to stop this is if the sharks win the cup this year. If this happens, San Jose will be set on fire, and it might reach Mountain View to stop Google and Skynet from taking over the world.

When did you last get drunk? OVER THE WEEKEND YOU STUPID BITCH!

American Song Playlist
Bruce Springsteen-Born in the USA
Kid Rock-American Bad Ass
Tom Petty-American Girl
Miley Cyrus-Party in the USA
Beach Boys-Surfin USA
Creedence Clearwater Revival-Fortunate Son


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